YATOUJI SATSUKI
COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

CARD: The Hermit, volume 9
AGE APPROX: late teens; 20-something?
STATUS: processing... ABORT RETRY SUPERFAIL
ANGST LEVEL: she's an apathetic genius who wants to destroy the world! CENSUS SAYS: little to none.
LIFE EXPECTANCY: not on Beast's say!

THE BASICS:
I'm sure all the girls can feel for this one, right? The tragic faerie tale of a young girl loved only for her genius; the boredom of classes populated by a cast of gibbering simpletons; not a single person who has more than a idiot's wit. A/S/L LOLZ AMIRITE.

Then along comes a shining prince! The computer named Beast, who understands all and does not repeat errors the way those pitiful humans can. Humans. I say we relieve this ennui by killing them. After all, the world is a place where the strong make mincemeat of the weak! The workings of Destiny, as she was recruited by Kanoe to be a Dragon of Earth. And why shouldn't she kill humans?

Because there are already so many who cry for those lost.

Enter, stage left, Yuuto-- the man with an answer, and the only one who ever treated her as a proper woman.


THE LOOKS:
Voluptuous is indeed this girl's catcall; one blushes just thinking of those curves! Eyes betraying nothing, short dark hair streaked light and tied back, Satsuki cares nothing about fashion, and makes due with her simple lab coat and skintight vinyl catsuits. Oh, CLAMP! Your science is whack.


THE POWERS:
One with the super computer mothership known as Beast, she has the ability to connect to anything and control everything mechanical or electronic that is linked. A genius in her own right, Satsuki also possesses an uncanny way of deciphering situations with a cold, detached manner.


THE SMARTS AND THE SOCIAL:
Anti-social and proud; though, Yuuto seems to be able to crack a bit of that shell. And her powers of SMART are listed as an active ability, because that's just what they are. Most likely knowledgeable with all things mechanical and electronic. PURE 100% FRUIT JUICE GENIUS YES.


THE CASH FLOW:
Oh, I bet she just cares so much about your welfare. But money doesn't seem to be a problem for her, as she can appropriate it anytime-- upgrades are costly!


THE HOMEMAKER:
The last thing you'll catch her doing is your laundry. You will be the one doing the chores, slave. Bow down to Satsuki! -- unless, that is, you happen to be Yuuto. We predict slight reprieve for him. Just a bit.


THE IN-LAWS:
not that she cares, and not that you should either!


THE RIVALS:
BEAST. I'm surprised as you are that Yuuto's pretty head hasn't been Kotori-fied by a jealous outburst of cables; but, let's just say your fate could be almost as amusing. Beast belongs to Satsuki in every sense of the word, and you'll never be able to bypass the computer. There's also Yuuto, true, but whether he'll fight you for Satsuki is quite doubtful...


THE BED:
Want to share with Beast? Because she does everything with her computer, I'm sure this is an experience she'll want on hardcopy. Satsuki is most likely the dominant type; though, she has displayed a more subdued character when contemplating Yuuto. But don't let that fool you! She'll make you eat cable, no lie.

Woman on top. Please take note! Possibly also, computer tentacle pr0n.


THE WILDCARD:
She wants to annihilate humanity because she's bored! Such an endearing character trait is surely to be cherished in any loving housewife. ♥ And given that the only human that interests her is Yuuto-- and possibly Fuuma-- I say: GO FOR IT! Don't forget to roll your disembodied head the other way, please.

    . monou kotori
    . sumeragi hokuto
    . saiki daisuke
    . segawa keiichi


    . shirou kamui
    . aoki seiichirou
    . arisugawa sorata
    . sumeragi subaru
    . kasumi karen
    . kishuu arashi
    . nekoi yuzuriha


    . monou fuuma
    . kigai yuuto
    . kuzuki kakyou
    . sakurazuka seishirou
    . shiyuu kusanagi
    . nataku
    . yatouji satsuki